Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
