Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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