So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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