I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
