you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
