i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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