My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
