quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
whose parrot is this?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
