i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
