Just mADE A PArabola og urine
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
