Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
