Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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