I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
