How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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