TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
