I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
