She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
