the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
