dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
