Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
