I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
