I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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