with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
