I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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