Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
