Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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