So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Fuck appropriateness.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
