if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
