He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
