it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
