in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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