tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
