I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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