I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
