I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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