Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
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