Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
