You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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