Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
