I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
