at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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