oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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