real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
