he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
