dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
