none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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