My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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