I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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