I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
