She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
