The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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